Sara’s Dating Profile of the Week

By Sara

Online dating sites are a trip. If you are interested in this guy’s genitalia, please inquire within and we will hook it up.

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Excerpt from his profile:

Sex is the reason we were created. You might as well start practicing. I have a functional pair of genitals. I seek a female with a functional internal genitalia  Consent is another thing I am specifically looking for. Standards are optional. My standards are you must have no diseases, no open relationship, and no heavy drug users. I am a pleasant person that knows how to communication my feelings to a woman. I have nice pectoral muscles from working out and I drive bumblebee. We can meet then reunite again to spend more quality time together. I would make an exceptional sexual partner. If we like each other, you will get laid. After that, you will get laid again. The people of Earth get laid about 120 million times per day. I am looking to do it responsibly.

 

WTF? Would you Go to a Toilet Restaurant?

There is a toilet-themed restaurant based in Taiwan with several other locations throughout Asia. Owner Wang Zi-Wei says that his inspiration for “Modern Toilet” came from a Japanese cartoon Dr. Stump who loved to “play with poop and swirl it on a stick.” Customers dine on acrylic toilets prettily decorated with designs like roses and seashells. Mealsals are served in miniature toilet bowls, and drinks are served out of urinals that can be taken home as souvenirs.

Their website asks visitors if they want to “GO PEE-PEE OR GO Poo-Poo” and lists entrees such as “green dysentery,” “bloody poop” and “diarrhea with dried droppings.”

Asians are known to be more relaxed about bodily functions such as burping, farting, and going to the bathroom. Could such a trend catch on in the US? I would go, would you?

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WTF? The Rules of Cheating when Playing Words with Friends

By Alexis Simpson

I cheat when I play Words with Friends. So what? You probably do too! It’s human nature. Cheating actually helps you to improve your game because you are shown words you would not have thought of yourself. Cheating CAN ruin the game if you take it too far. These are the ground rules:

RULE #1: DO NOT use the cheating method where you place both players’ moves down on a computerized board so that the computer can calculate the best move for you at each turn. If you do this, nobody has a chance against you and the game becomes boring.

RULE #2: DO use the ANAGRAM cheating guides that take your tiles and show you the best words possible.

RULE #3: Only cheat up to 5 times per game. This keeps it challenging. The best times to cheat are when the game is close. If you are playing someone horrible, don’t cheat at all because you probably just want the game to be over with.

RULE #4: When cheating, do not use the suggested words that make it beyond obvious that you are cheating. (Examples=Reeditions, boondoggle, or Sycophant) While you may know what these words mean, you probably wouldn’t think to play such words. It’s very important to give the illusion that nobody is cheating in order to keep up the intensity of the game.

RULE #5: Do not quit the game because someone is cheating better than you are. You just look like a poor sport. Don’t bitch.

(If you feel like a good whoopin’, play me. I’m pinklex.)